Afraid of losing you
by katychan666
Summary: On a mission, Alec gets seriously injured. Magnus, for the fist time faced with reality and possibility of losing Alec, does everything in his power to save him.


Alec didn't even know where things went wrong. In one moment, the mission was going great; he, Jace and Izzy have killed off almost all of the demons surrounding the area. But then suddenly, more of them came out of the blue and suddenly, the trio found themselves to be completely surrounded by demons. There were so many of them, too many of them. Jace glanced at the oldest one from the group and Alec could see doubt in his _parabatai's_ eyes. That look shook Alec right to the core, because he knew that Jace didn't know fear; it wasn't like him to be afraid. When he glanced at his sister, Alec saw that all of the colour left her face; she was afraid as well.

They stepped together and just watched how the demons surrounded them; they were trapped. Alec closed his eyes and the grip around his bow tightened and he glanced down for a split second, his eyes flashing over his Seraph blade. He slowly reached back and quickly pulled a new arrow from his quiver, swallowing thickly. He knew that things wouldn't end up pretty for them; even if he tried to calculate every possible solution, there were just too many demons and he took another step back, bumping against Jace's back. When he moved, the demons moved as well, sprouting towards them. Alec watched how Jace sprinted towards the swarm of demons, his body prepared to fight, and a loud groan escaped his mouth as he rammed his blade deep into the beast's chest.

Alec then glanced at Izzy, who gave him a meaningful nod and whipped out her whip. That was Alec's cue to start fighting as well. He aimed his arrow and shot. The arrow pierced a demon's throat and a smirk spread across Alec's face as the demon burst into flames, feeling a rush of adrenaline overflowing his body. For a second, he thought that they actually had a chance against them. After taking care of several demons at the same time, he glance over to Izzy to see how she was doing. She was too busy with fighting that she didn't notice a demon coming behind her back and Alec's heart filled itself with horror as a loud scream left his mouth, warning Izzy to watch out, but she couldn't hear him. Without thinking twice, Alec aimed another arrow into the beast, just as it wanted to attack his sister, the arrow piercing the demon's chest and a weight lifted off of Alec's chest when he thought that he had saved his sister. While that was true, he had been too distracted to see the danger creeping behind him as well.

Alec let out a sudden yelp of pain, when a horrible pain suddenly pierced his right shoulder, the pain immediately spreading throughout his entire right hand, down his back and claiming the rest of his body. He turned around and his eyes widened in shock when he noticed the demon just a few inches from his face, its teeth driven deep into his flesh. He grit his teeth and somehow managed to free himself, but he knew that he wasn't out of the danger yet. His entire arm hurt like hell and he knew that he was too wounded to continue fighting. Not only that, but the thought of demon venom spreading through his body dreaded him and even though he had a healing rune, he somehow had a feeling that it wouldn't be enough if he wouldn't get a proper help. As the demon sprouted towards Alec, he backed away and cursed as he suddenly let go of his bow. He leaned down to reach it, but it was too far; too out of his reach.

"Alec… Alec has been hurt," whispered Jace to himself and looked at his _parabatai_ , who appeared to be struggling. He could feel that something was wrong, but as he wanted to go and help his friend, a demon crossed his path and he could just helplessly watch Alec struggling to kill the demon that was coming towards him.

Alec then quickly grabbed his Seraph blade and rammed it deep into the demon's gut, enjoying himself when he heard the beast scream and squirm with pain. When he killed the demon, he fell down onto his knees and looked over to the duo; Jace's light hair and his face were covered with demon blood and after taking a look at Izzy, Alec came to the conclusion that she didn't look any better; both her hair and her clothes were soaked, stained with blood. He could see it; both Jace and Izzy were getting tired and he closed his eyes for only a second, cursing at himself mentally when he attempted to pull himself onto his legs, but only found himself completely unable to do so. He suddenly felt light headed and when he would try to stand on his own, he would be too disoriented, the picture spinning in front of his eyes. Alec's breathing had gotten fast and uneven, reaching for his blade again when he noticed a few demons coming closer to him. He managed to kill one of them, but there were too many. A loud scream of pain left his mouth as another demon rammed its teeth into the same spot as before, that time gaining Izzy's attention, who could just watch, with horror in her eyes, how a demon lifted her brother and threw him towards the wall, Alec's body going completely limp when he hit the wall.

"Alec!" screamed Izzy and ran towards her brother, her eyes filled with hatred and anger, letting out all of her anger as she took care of the demons that were surrounding her brother. Once she cleared the area enough, she ran towards her older brother, who was then leaning towards the wall, in a half lying-half sitting position. "Jace!" screamed the girl then and looked at the other one, who was also struggling to come closer to the two of them. "Help, Alec needs help."

By that point, Alec was slipping in and out of consciousness, having trouble to keep up with whatever was going around him. He was conscious enough to know that it would be probably the best if Jace and Izzy leave him there, at least that way they would be able to save their own lives. He wanted to tell that to Izzy, who was now gently removing some of the hair from her brother's face, but all that left his mouth was incoherent mumbling, Izzy's eyes widening and welling up. Attempting to see how big the damage was, Izzy practically tore Alec's jacket and shirt from his body, letting out a hitched breath when she saw Alec's shoulder and the rest of his arm. She didn't notice it before, but she could see it then; Alec was bleeding heavily. She looked down and pressed her lips together. Why didn't the healing rune help? Izzy was confused, scared and yet, still somehow managed to swallow back her tears as she found herself to be drawing another rune on his brother's arm, close to the wound. However, it still wouldn't help.

"Shit," cursed Izzy and gripped the fabric of Alec's shirt and finally allowed the tears to completely wet her face and she pressed a quick kiss against Alec's forehead. Alec's skin was so pale and so cold that it only made the girl's fear grow stronger. But Alec dying in her arms was something that she wouldn't allow to happen. If the runes were going to help, then they would have to find another way to help Alec.

"Izzy, behind you," whispered Alec when he saw another demon approaching them, but Izzy wouldn't budge. She just leaned towards him, wrapped her arms around Alec's body and closed her eyes shut. The beast behind her screeched with pain and Izzy turned around, only to see Jace standing there.

"H-how is he?" stammered Jace and came closer to the duo.

"Not good," whispered Izzy and shook her head. "The runes should help, b-but they don't. I don't know what is wrong, I tried to –"

Alec slowly closed his eyes, because his eyelids had gotten far too heavy, but when he heard someone calling out his name, he forced himself to open his eyes and it took him a while to recognise that it was Jace, who was calling out his name, gently stroking his cheek and Alec blinked a few times. He glanced at Izzy and wanted to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was a gargle and then he started coughing and choking, struggling to breathe when he felt his throat swell, feeling something hot dripping out of his mouth. It had a metal taste to it, so he could only guess that it was blood.

"Jace!" screamed Isabelle and sobbed. "H-he's dying," she then whispered and covered her mouth. "We're too late."

Jace cursed out loud and firmed a fist with his hand, ramming his hand into the brick wall a few times, not even caring that he was bleeding from his knuckles. He bit into his lower lip hard and then closed his eyes, hoping that maybe that way he would be able to clear his thoughts a little bit. There had to be a way to help his friend; there was no way that Alec was going to die so easily.

Magnus!

"Magnus," whispered Jace and Izzy's eyes widened when she looked at the other one. "He's our only hope left."

"How will we get him there?" whispered Izzy. "T-there's still more of the demons coming and –"

"I will take Alec to Magnus," said Jace and slowly got up onto his legs, and leaned down closer to Alec, who wasn't conscious at the moment. His heart throbbed when he saw the state of his friend and then he finally lifted him up, holding him close as he decided to carry Alec to Magnus' place on his own. Luckily, they weren't all that far away from Magnus. "And you get help, okay?"

"O-okay," stammered the girl and watched how Jace started running with Alec in his arms. However, she was soon interrupted when she heard the demons approaching once again and she grit her teeth, running away as well, headed for Institute to get much needed help from other Shadowhunters.

Magnus had just walked the last client of the day out of his apartment and then threw himself onto the sofa, his body literally melting against the soft surface and a small smile came upon warlock's face. Finally, he was alone. Usually, he loved company. But not that day, since he had been working through the entire day. He was spending his magic a lot that day, so he felt extra tired. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and he exhaled deeply, his muscles slowly staring to relax. He could feel himself slowly drifting to sleep and even though it wasn't that late, he didn't mind sleeping at that hour. So, he was really annoyed when he heard someone knocking on his door. He frowned and turned around; certainty, he wasn't that needed. However, the annoying knocking wouldn't stop and a loud groan escaped past his mouth. Too lazy to walk to the door, he opened the entrance door with one swift motion of his hand and slowly straightened himself up into sitting position, deciding to curse the one who decided to disturb his peace.

"Help," said a voice and Magnus frowned, recognising it almost immediately. Jace Wayland. He was half tempted to yell at the other Shadowhunter, because he really wasn't in the mood for speaking with him. What could be this time? Had his little girlfriend, Clary, gotten into another trouble? He pressed his lips together, forming a straight line and then sighed. "Magnus, I need help, so if you could just –"

"Fine," replied Magnus, cutting the younger one off and walked to the entrance door to see why the other one couldn't come to him on his own.

First thing that Magnus noticed was the blood; there was so much of it. Not only that the Wayland boy was drenched in it, the entire floor of the entrance was and Magnus held back his breath as he looked up. The blood didn't appear to be Jace's and Magnus' hunch was right, because when he looked up, he saw Jace holding unconscious Alec in his arms and suddenly all of the colour left Magnus' face, his eyes wide open and he just stood there for a split second, before hurrying to Jace, who was barely holding Alec in his arms.

"Alexander?" whispered Magnus, shaken right to the core when he saw the state that his boyfriend was in.

"Take him," stammered Jace, completely out of breath and Magnus didn't need to be told twice. He scooped Alec up into his arms and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach when Alec's head collapsed back, his arms dangling down, completely limp. Seeing how pale Alec's face was, Magnus could only guess in how much pain the other one was and he swallowed thickly, quickly carrying him to his bed, gently placing him on top of it, trying to be as gentle as he could, wanting to make Alec just a bit more comfortable, if that was possible by that point. Jace hurried behind Magnus, his heart hammering again his ribcage from worry and fear of losing his best friend.

"What happened?" asked Magnus impatiently and snapped his fingers, removing Alec's jacket and shirt completely, his face growing paler when he noticed the actual wound. He didn't need an actual answer, he could easily recognise a demon's bite when he saw one. He could see that Alec was bitten more than once, which only made his worry grow. The more bites, then the more demon venom. The wound and Alec's whole right hand were coloured in deep shades of purple and red, making Jace's eyes widen as well.

"I-it wasn't so bad before," blurted out Jace and took a few steps closer.

"The venom is spreading quickly," whispered Magnus and placed his hand over the wound, blue sparks flying under his fingers and he then moved both of his hands up and down Alec's body, wanting to see how much the venom has spread. His face darkened and that was enough to let Jace know that he should really start getting worried.

"Is it that bad?" whispered Jace.

"I'm afraid so," replied Magnus and pressed his lips together, his heart breaking as he continued to stare at Alec. His chest was descending and lifting quickly, it was clear to the warlock that Alec couldn't breathe properly. If the poison had already affected Alec's breathing, then –. Not wanting to think of the worst, Magnus decided not to waste any time, so he straightened himself up. He knew that the healing spells would usually be enough, but he knew that they would take a toll on his magic, which he had already been weakened. Magnus cursed and closed his eyes. Then again, he could make a potion, but he didn't have all of the needed ingredients.

"What's wrong?" asked Jace.

"The fastest way for him to recover would be with a potion, but I don't have all of the ingredients to make one and I am afraid that there's not enough time to get them," muttered Magnus.

"I could get them for you, if –"started Jace, but was interrupted when his phone started ringing. His eyes widened when he saw Isabelle's name written on the screen and that could only mean one thing; he was needed on the fight scene as well. He replied to the call and he was right; they needed his help. He cursed when he ended the phone call and looked at Magnus, who was already performing healing spells on Alec's body. "Damn it, I need to –"

"Go?" asked Magnus and Jace nodded. Magnus' face darkened, because even though he didn't want to admit it to himself, he would very much need help from someone, but it couldn't be helped. It was a Shadowhunter's duty to go and help their kind in fights towards demons. The only thing that Magnus could really do was to let Jace go and guarantee him that Alec was going to be alright. "Then go," he said. "Stop wasting time here and go help them."

"But-"

"Don't worry, I'll manage on my own," said Magnus and forced a smile. "Alec is going to be alright," he added, those words burning on his tongue like fire. He knew that he was lying, they both knew, but Magnus' lies managed to calm Jace down just enough to nod.

"Okay," whispered Jace and sighed. "Call us if there'll be any changes."

As Magnus nodded, Jace quickly turned around and ran from Magnus' apartment, heading to the previous area. Magnus, however, when he found himself alone with Alec in his bedroom, had quite a hard time with not breaking down at the sight of his lover. One of his hands was hovering on top of the wound, while the other one was travelling up and down Alec's chest, light blue flames and sparks flying underneath Magnus' fingers as he was at least trying to stop the venom from spreading, before he could actually focus on the healing process itself. Usually, he wouldn't be struggling that much, but his magic that day was used and weak. Pushing those thoughts aside, Magnus finally managed to stop the poison from spreading at then focused on the harder part; on healing his boyfriend.

Magnus gently skimmed his fingers over Alec's throat, the blue sparks flying once again and he nervously chewed on his lower lip. Alec's throat was swollen, it surprised Magnus that the other one managed to breathe. Then without any warning, Alec's body moved on its own, shivering and shaking like crazy, Magnus helplessly watching Alec coughing out blood, which stained Magnus' bedcovers, his clothes and hands, but the warlock didn't care. The thought of losing Alec so soon scared him; after almost a century he had opened up his heart to someone and to see him being taken so soon away from him, would leave Magnus completely crushed. It wasn't fair.

"Alec?" whispered Magnus and nervously chewed on his lower lip when Alec's body suddenly stopped moving and he was again lying completely still. "Damn it," he then cursed, not knowing how to supress his emotions enough to save Alec. His eyes burned as he watched Alec's unconscious body and pain clawed into his chest. He knew that death was going to take Alexander from him one day, but he didn't want it to be so soon yet. He hadn't even told him that he loved him properly. Desperation flashed in Magnus' eyes and his magic grew stronger by that point on, he knew that he needed to be stronger if he wanted to save Alec.

Half an hour later, or so, Magnus had finally made some progress. The healing spells had finally started showing some changes, Magnus was finally able to remove most of the venom from Alec's body and his wound was already looking a lot better. The warlock was more than happy to realise that Alec's breathing had gotten normal and he could only thank the angels for that. Thanks to Alec's healing rune, the wound finally started healing itself, but Magnus still wasn't completely done. He, on the other hand, was completely exhausted. His breathing was laboured and uneven, hair wet and stuck to his forehead from sweating, his entire body shivering as he was still forcing himself to stand up. However, he soon fell down onto his knees and closed his eyes tightly, his shaky hands still hovering on top of Alec's body, desperate to heal his lover properly.

His magic was weak, barely even present, but it was enough. Magnus spent the little of the power that he had left and then he collapsed down as well, catching himself on his hands, hovered on top of Alec. He dragged his body on the other side of Alec and forced himself to sit up. He felt lightheaded and dizzy, but he was determined to see Alec wake up, before losing his consciousness, which was bound to happen. He placed his shaky hand on the Shadowhunter's forehead and gently stroked it. Thankfully, Alec reacted to the touch, his eyebrows moving just a little bit and then, he opened his eyes, at first confused to see Magnus sitting next to him.

Alec didn't know what was going on. The last thing that he remembered was pain, screams and crying surrounding him. But now, none of that was present. He forced himself to open up his eyes when he felt a touch of a hand on his forehead and he was surprised to see Magnus sitting there. Did he die and go to heaven? That thought was soon forgotten when he moved his body, a sharp pain piercing through his body.

"D-don't make any sudden movements," whispered Magnus, still breathing heavily. "You still need some time to recover properly. But you woke up and that is what matters," went on by saying the warlock and a tired smile appeared on his lips, before he collapsed down, Alec moving fast enough to catch him in his arms and then he laid back down, pulling Magnus down with him.

Magnus managed to look up at his boyfriend and Alec's eyes widened with shock. Magnus' face was pale and tired, dark circles under his eyes. His entire body was shivering and Alec bit down onto his lips hard, worry creeping into his heart. He knew what must've happened after that demon attack; Jace must've brought him to Magnus and he probably used up all of his magic just to save him.

"Are you okay?" asked Alec softly, reaching down with his left hand and removed some of the warlock's hair to the side. "You look so tired, so broken and–"

"I'm fine," said Magnus. "As long as you're okay, then I am as well."

"But-" started Alec, his heart throbbing, but in the end his voice trailed off.

Magnus looked up again and there he saw it; guilt. It was so easy for Alec to feel guilty and to blame himself. "Don't fill your pretty little head with useless worries, angel," said Magnus and the usual smile came upon his face, despite him being tired. "When Jace brought you here, just for a second, I thought that I wouldn't be able to save you and the thought of that killed me," muttered Magnus.

Alec was a little taken back from Magnus' words, but he soon recovered and his facial expression softened up. He leaned down and captured Magnus' lips into a soft and long kiss. "I'm sorry to make you worry, I'll be more careful next time," said Alec and Magnus nodded with a smile.

"Alec?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

The next time that Alec looked down, Magnus was already asleep and the young man chewed on his lower lip as he wrapped his arms around Magnus' body despite his pain. "Thank you," whispered Alec and pressed a kiss against Magnus' temple. "I love you," he then added and closed his eyes.

That night, Alec held Magnus in his arms for the entire night, not wanting to let go.


End file.
